February 16, 2015

Bwaaah-haaa-haaaa!!

I forgot today is Presidents Day. I have no idea how I forgot that with my child bouncing in the backseat of the car but I forgot. That means no deposit into the troop bank account. No deposit into my personal bank account. DUH! It's a bank holiday! Ok, banking and shopping holiday! 

That means I have a whole day to focus on my own things. I stopped by Lowe's to pick up an inexpensive but nice looking pot to put our donated plant into. I need to call the lady and make arrangements to drop it off. I've got my laundry going and I'm kind of tickled that my house is not a mess and I can get it clean in short order.

Life is so good! Now, time for a snack! 

February 2, 2015

What a day! My team won the Superbowl last night in a thrilling game and so I definitely woke up this morning in a great mood! 

I thought I had an appointment at my daughter's school today but it turns out it was Wednesday. Not that I'm being down on myself for getting the date wrong, but it's a sign for me. That I need to pay more attention to the details. This is a consistent pattern in my life, when I get going, I lose track of details and that lack of attention to details can spiral out of control. This is my clue to not take on too much more than I am now. Just a sign that I need to refocus myself. 

I'm defaulting back to my key strategies when I feel chaotic. Cleaning house and working on my time management. I'm doing laundry today and my goal for the day is to scrub down my bathroom. One of the worst things about being injured and recovering from having my thyroid removed was not being able to keep my house in a certain way. It's time to get back to that. I want to go back to work full-time, so that means I need to keep my house clean the way I like it done. I am literally and figuratively putting my house in order. I find a lot of comfort in it. 

I seem to say that a lot though, I'm getting myself organized. I sometimes wonder if that an excuse for avoiding something I'm in denial about - or just trying to keep myself moving forward at full bore. Time will tell which one it is. 

January 25, 2015

It looks like being out in the cold and wet yesterday had a negative affect on me. I woke up with no voice and aching all over. I stayed in bed all day. 

Starting last night the NFL Network was doing 30 minute recaps of every Superbowl ever played. They got the Patriots first Superbowl win. I cried...then and now. I cried again at the end of the Imperfect Season loss. I feel no shame for that. I love my favorite team and I'm ride or die with it. Watching the Pro Bowl now, I love it! This is truly the best Pro Bowl ever played. Love the format, that fans voted who could be in it and that they did away with the AFC vs NFC format. Of course, we're rooting for Michael Irving's team. All about the U, baby!! Closest I'll ever get to rooting for Dallas LMAO

Good thing for me, I already have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow afternoon. I'm sure he's going to be pleased with me overall. Still smoke free, weighing less than 180 lbs. I officially weigh less than I did when I graduated high school now. 

A sick day but a good day none the less. 

January 5, 2015

Yay! I'm home again, home again!! Now I need another vacation because I'm so tired from this one! 

I'm pleased to say there were plenty of GREAT and healthy options to eat and I'm even more pleased to report that I even had quite a bit of those healthy food options!! I got in all my veggie servings every day! Yah, I also ate all my dessert and last night I ate an entire piece of cheesecake that was the size of like three regular slices. It's literally more than I've eaten in the past year! Or probably will eat THIS year! LOL I told myself going into the cruise that the goal was to eat and eat often! If I over-indulged that was fine but better that than slipping back into my bad habit of not eating all day! There was lots of binge drinking and my visit to the Mayan ruins actually on Cozumel island seems to have brought on my menstrual cycle.

You know what?! I don't care. Yes, I stood on the scale when I got home this afternoon. I was HAPPY. No, I didn't lose weight. Yes, I gained a few pounds. Why am I happy? Because I maintained my every day eating habits! Getting back into my daily weight loss groove has been effortless today. It's like I never left the house! Oh look! There's an entire box of NS food sitting right there....my snack bars are in my purse and the extras are packed in my suitcase right next to Pops shot glasses. 

I got the chance yesterday to walk a 5k for cancer. Both my parents had it, it claimed my mother's life and my youngest sister had it. Twice. I escaped a thyroid cancer scare myself so I had a ton of reasons to do that walk!! At the end I had to choose between finishing the entire walk or dodge out and go learn do the do the Samba for the "Dancing with the Stars" Dance activity. Yah, I stuck it out and finished the walk. I thought that would be a tougher choice than it turned out to be. That new habit of finishing the things I start reared it's pretty head! In the end, I couldn't bring myself to quit. Besides, it was just nine times around the ship and I was more than halfway through! 

I also got up in front of a room full of people with my husband and we sang Karaoke! "Margaritaville". It was a ton of fun! I was not feeling like I looked all that great - but I didn't let that stop me either. Karoke is a fun activity and honestly, one of those ones where the more you suck at it - the more fun it is for you and your audience!! 

All in all, a great trip and I'm so grateful we were able to go!! I'm sorry that I came home to comments on a long abandoned livejournal journal - most of the entries commented on were NINE YEARS old. That's right, I said it - nine years. One was back in 2005. Not as old but still old enough that it has no bearing on my life now. I was in an unhappy and miserable place. I didn't delete those things because I wanted to leave them there as a reminder to myself about how sad and pathetic my life was. While the whole thing has now disappeared from the site-  the posts were not deleted. I just recovered the password (the email notifications of the nasty "setting the record straight" comments told me that my email account associated with the journal is the one I currently use and not one of my old abandoned ones) and since it's been so long  since I last used it - took me a few minutes to figure out how to change ALL the posts to private - but I figured it out. Now everything is private - since I wanted to keep it as a reminder of where I should never let my headspace go. Maybe I'll start writing in it again - as a private place for me to write out my thoughts and just document my life for hindsight insights. However, all of the comments require "moderation" by me and they are still there as proof of the current ongoing situation and something concrete to take to the authorities so I can put an end to this sadness.

I truly feel bad. Father Jim has been encouraging me to take a compassionate viewpoint. Yes, of course, I should protect myself legally. At the same times in my private thoughts, remind myself that they pick apart me and my life because they are so unhappy with their own. Haters are going to hate. Proverbs 9:8 Don't rebuke a mocker or he will hate you. Rebuke a wise person, and he will love you. Wise words, indeed. No matter what I say, it will only make it worse - so best to not say anything. Those people have had access to those entries for the entire intervening time and had no issue with it's correctness until now? Coincidence that the sudden urge to call me out comes immediately following me going "private" on the internet? I think not. If they can't figure it out on their own, I'll leave it to the proper authorities to explain it to them. That's not my role. I'll say some rosaries for them and ask Father Jim to pray for them too. In the meantime, I have a ton of pictures on my husband's phone and mine to download from google pictures so I can make a jumpdrive full of all our pix for my mother-in-law!! Let her pick out which ones she wants to print! 

I finally remembered what it was I was supposed to do before I left. Do my car registration. Last year I didn't remember for MONTHS and ended up getting a citation for it. I ran down to the Car tag place, hopped in line and caught up on email and texts while I waited in the long line. It was nice to be unplugged for awhile but it's good to be back!! I missed all you guys!!