Busy Busy couple of days! I got my baptismal certificate all turned in and now I'm officially all set for my confirmation! Woohooo!
Wednesday I got a lead on a job. I'm going down to Costa Farms Monday morning to apply there. I'll have to leave early or call off work for my appt with Dr Denham and definitely call off for my call-in court hearing. I'm not sure how that's going to play out.....but I'll figure it out.
I spent most of my day cooking. I was originally planning on going with T to work to do some painting on his jobsite. Yesterday, I made Parm crusted Tilapia for dinner. I bought extra fish so I could make lunches to take with me to work. FISH TACOS anyone? So today, I actually put together my fish tacos and put them in the fridge. I also made Chicken Tortilla Soup for dinner, and the leftovers will also be my lunches.
Because I know I'll be far away from my vehicle working out at Costa, my plan is to get the Atkins bars I like and keep them in a fanny pack on my waist. That in and of itself, is Na NSV because of the first time in, I don't know how long, I can wear one comfortably! How freeing it is to have that at my disposal! I have an option I've never had before! Anyhoo - all I have to do now is figure out after-school. I'm tempted to have Helen stay at Avocado after school until the bus for south-dade comes. I'm not sure I can do that though. I was supposed to ask about that today when I picked her up. I guess I'll do it when I drop her at school tomorrow. I won't get a paycheck for the next two days work - but I got to spend some money already.
It's some crazy logistics but it will be worth it. I'm going bat-shit-crazy with boredom just sitting home on my ass. I've lost a lot of weight, I've gotten my health issues more or less under control and now I can't stand sitting on my ass anymore. I realize just how negatively this thyroid stuff impacted me. Now I can finally see it. My mother always said, when I started having thyroid problems there was this HUGE dramatic drop in my energy level. I never understood what she meant by that. She'd try and explain it that it was like I hit a wall and I didn't get it. Now I finally understand what she meant!! Holy cow! The difference between now and even 20 years ago is just so dramatic! Not nearly as moody, a bazillion times more energetic and I feel less manic and more ADHD - now I have the physical energy to match the mental energy. Unlike most people, if I felt manic - I didn't have the crazy "I'm Wonder Woman" kinda theme to my thoughts. Just thinking a million miles an hour. Oddly enough, my body catching up to my brain makes it feel like my brain has slowed down. It hasn't - my body is just able to keep up and moves on to the next thing.
I will admit, I have lots of anxieties about going back to work. It's been more than 10 years since I've had a traditional job. I keep telling myself that I'm worrying about nothing. I was able to work a regular job back when I getting out of bed and getting out the door was a feat in and of itself and only happened through sheer force of will. Oddly enough - me going back to work means less housework. LOL No one here to mess up the house except the dogs. They're easy - just sweep the floors every night, keeping on top of the dishes in the morning and in the evening and I'm good to go! I'll have to do a lot of advance cooking on the weekends so I'm all set for week days but it is comforting that I have a strategy at my disposal to keep up with my proper eating every day! I know what to do and I CAN do it! T said I can get a fitbit so I can track my calories burned so I know when and if I need to start increasing my food intake.
I have been doing a lot of self-talk lately. Reminding myself to stop putting off moving forward over silly details. Reminding myself that I'm a smart gal who can think on her feet well enough that I can handle anything that comes up. I need to stay in the now and have confidence in myself that I can figure out anything that comes up. Stop holding myself back over these silly anxieties! Close my eyes and just GO!
Girl Scouts is going GREAT! I worked on the image for the girls' T-shirts today. I took one of the Traditional Trefoil cookie wearing a GS sash image off the website and set it in the middle and put the Troop # over the top and the council logo under the cookie - and finally a "Camp Name". We'll have the girls pick out camp names at the next meeting - at the following meeting -the girls will get their shirts, logo and all. I'm so excited about this project. I know, I'm excited about a lot of things.
On that note, it's late and I need to be up early tomorrow so I can get my carcass in gear on time! No BS excuses in the morning!
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
February 4, 2015
What a difference a day and change in circumstances beyond my control make!
I got up at an unholy hour and got the kids up and off to school and made it back home in time for me to get my own kid off to school on time! The meeting went well. It was just an initial meeting, officially, her teacher "nominated" her to get the early testing for the gifted program. They have 70 days from today to test her, I'm sure it's going to happen closer to that 70th day than any time soon. Once they get those results and decide she is, in fact, gifted, then she changes classes to a gifted class. We aren't obligated to do that right away, we can wait until next year or whenever we want. We can pull hr in and out of the gifted program as often as we choose. They made us sign paperwork declaring that we were not denied the right to bring anyone we chose to the meeting. I knew that was from them being sued over that.
My friend's baby girl was released from the hospital this afternoon to finish her recovery at home. After the meeting, I ran by the house to drop off a replacement box of cookies and leave the house key for my friend to get back in her house. Then it was off to meet R to try and talk about get on the same page with where we wanna go with the troop. We are going to involve our Moms more heavily than they are. We have one in mind to be treasurer and serve as that fiscal accountability role. We decided we're going to bring all receipts for all troop money for her to initial and keep with the rest of our accounting. We want another parent to take charge of outside events. Be the one to organize getting permission slips, collect the money from the other moms and just coordinate that for the troop. Thankfully, council and the service unit put out their event calendars at the beginning of the program year and we'll have our own events to add to that and it's a lot when we're also running the actual meeting. R brought her oldest along and she's re-joining us as an adult volunteer. She rocked that badge work stuff when she was an Ambassador, and we're going to take full advantage of that fact and put her on the case. She really needs to be a leader but hey, we'll start with Adult volunteer and when we grow this troop so it needs a third leader, then we can make M upgrade her. LOL She's really good at this stuff even on a larger level - like service unit level and I know more than a few of our events will end up being service unit events. Works for me. It's good for the Service Unit and it's good for us. I'm so excited! Her daughter is mouthy and that might put some people off, but I like her. We did some shopping as the girls are presenting their cookies to the county police dept next week. We decided to make our Gift of Caring service project the Police Dept because first, the town police dept put on this amazing show and second, all the news about so many police depts having trouble with "bad" cops - we wanted to show our appreciation for our own depts that GET IT RIGHT! Let them know we noticed and are front and center to say "Thanks!"
I'm up late doing catching up on cookie paperwork and tomorrow I'll be catching up on more household stuff. I want so bad to go back to work but I need to put this house in back the way it belongs! I won't be able to manage Girl Scouts AND working if I'm not back to my regular household schedule and tidy organization. My house isn't trashed - just disorganized and in such a small space, it's difficult. I will finish all the cookie paperwork that I can do at this point. I've done a decent job of staying on top of everything as I went along, so it's not that tough. I've been keeping spread sheets for each girl so the girls can do a "Self assessment" exercise. It's a little extra work but it will be worth it.
For now, I am focused on getting back on track with the eating, I did some grocery shopping today so that will go a long way towards making that happen! I will get back into the swing of the working out thing soon. I don't know when, but soon. I need to get that control back before I add anything else. Following that "change one thing" principle. I changed the GS situation, I'm changing the household clutter situation and there's time enough for the rest of it.
I got up at an unholy hour and got the kids up and off to school and made it back home in time for me to get my own kid off to school on time! The meeting went well. It was just an initial meeting, officially, her teacher "nominated" her to get the early testing for the gifted program. They have 70 days from today to test her, I'm sure it's going to happen closer to that 70th day than any time soon. Once they get those results and decide she is, in fact, gifted, then she changes classes to a gifted class. We aren't obligated to do that right away, we can wait until next year or whenever we want. We can pull hr in and out of the gifted program as often as we choose. They made us sign paperwork declaring that we were not denied the right to bring anyone we chose to the meeting. I knew that was from them being sued over that.
My friend's baby girl was released from the hospital this afternoon to finish her recovery at home. After the meeting, I ran by the house to drop off a replacement box of cookies and leave the house key for my friend to get back in her house. Then it was off to meet R to try and talk about get on the same page with where we wanna go with the troop. We are going to involve our Moms more heavily than they are. We have one in mind to be treasurer and serve as that fiscal accountability role. We decided we're going to bring all receipts for all troop money for her to initial and keep with the rest of our accounting. We want another parent to take charge of outside events. Be the one to organize getting permission slips, collect the money from the other moms and just coordinate that for the troop. Thankfully, council and the service unit put out their event calendars at the beginning of the program year and we'll have our own events to add to that and it's a lot when we're also running the actual meeting. R brought her oldest along and she's re-joining us as an adult volunteer. She rocked that badge work stuff when she was an Ambassador, and we're going to take full advantage of that fact and put her on the case. She really needs to be a leader but hey, we'll start with Adult volunteer and when we grow this troop so it needs a third leader, then we can make M upgrade her. LOL She's really good at this stuff even on a larger level - like service unit level and I know more than a few of our events will end up being service unit events. Works for me. It's good for the Service Unit and it's good for us. I'm so excited! Her daughter is mouthy and that might put some people off, but I like her. We did some shopping as the girls are presenting their cookies to the county police dept next week. We decided to make our Gift of Caring service project the Police Dept because first, the town police dept put on this amazing show and second, all the news about so many police depts having trouble with "bad" cops - we wanted to show our appreciation for our own depts that GET IT RIGHT! Let them know we noticed and are front and center to say "Thanks!"
I'm up late doing catching up on cookie paperwork and tomorrow I'll be catching up on more household stuff. I want so bad to go back to work but I need to put this house in back the way it belongs! I won't be able to manage Girl Scouts AND working if I'm not back to my regular household schedule and tidy organization. My house isn't trashed - just disorganized and in such a small space, it's difficult. I will finish all the cookie paperwork that I can do at this point. I've done a decent job of staying on top of everything as I went along, so it's not that tough. I've been keeping spread sheets for each girl so the girls can do a "Self assessment" exercise. It's a little extra work but it will be worth it.
For now, I am focused on getting back on track with the eating, I did some grocery shopping today so that will go a long way towards making that happen! I will get back into the swing of the working out thing soon. I don't know when, but soon. I need to get that control back before I add anything else. Following that "change one thing" principle. I changed the GS situation, I'm changing the household clutter situation and there's time enough for the rest of it.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
February 3, 2015
The burden has been lifted and in a week, I have my Ortho appointment and I'll finally know if I'm medically cleared to go back to work or not. I have concerns that to get a decent job I won't get the kind of hours I want (early in the day) but worrying about it now won't do me any good now - in fact, it's going to make things worse for me.
I've been struggling the last few days eating on time. My sleep schedule is still off and that exacerbates my food issues which is further fed by the stress levels from this drama that I don't want to get into in such a public forum. I don't cope well with drama, and we'll leave it at that.
What else do I need to do to get myself on track again? Not much, let me tell ya.
I've been struggling the last few days eating on time. My sleep schedule is still off and that exacerbates my food issues which is further fed by the stress levels from this drama that I don't want to get into in such a public forum. I don't cope well with drama, and we'll leave it at that.
What else do I need to do to get myself on track again? Not much, let me tell ya.
Monday, January 12, 2015
January 11, 2015
Another day moving towards I don't know what. I'm still feeling lost. The fact that I don't have any career going or contributing to the household finances is starting to bother me. While I am in fact, under a court order to get a job as soon as I'm medically cleared to do so and there's a process for me to follow to get out of that if my ortho doesn't medically clear me; the pressure I feel is completely internal. It's my own innate needs that drive me. Getting a job is easy - I need to figure out what I'm going to do with myself as far as an actual career kind of thing goes. Thinking of my overall financial future, 65 is only 20 years away. Seems like a lot, doesn't it? It used to be 40 years away! I need to make some hard choices and I don't intend to make those choices alone. I'll be sitting down with my husband and we're going to be starting a discussion about this.
I have cookie and Girl Scout drsma. I will admit, I'm a bit resentful about the whole thing. I could let it go and am willing to let it go - but ONLY if it's dealt with. We will ultimately have to have a meeting between all five of us.
Yah, now that I've got that out of my system, I need to get to bed. I feel better about that coming to some kind of resolution. Whether that resolution is what I want it to be or not, we will just have to see.
I have cookie and Girl Scout drsma. I will admit, I'm a bit resentful about the whole thing. I could let it go and am willing to let it go - but ONLY if it's dealt with. We will ultimately have to have a meeting between all five of us.
Yah, now that I've got that out of my system, I need to get to bed. I feel better about that coming to some kind of resolution. Whether that resolution is what I want it to be or not, we will just have to see.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
January 10, 2015
That wasn't so bad. I had cookie pick-up first thing this morning. This is my first year being "cookie mom" and being in charge of cookies. I keep hearing all these horror stories about how awful it is, not just from people all over but people around here. Not a hitch. My husband was my driver, and we pulled in, checked in and pulled up, loaded up and checked out. Our time slot was 8:07 and we were done by 8:00 am and driving away with our truck load of cookies.
Yah, T had to run off to work as soon as he parked the truck and the little one slept over at Grandma's last night so we could go hang out with friends and do cookies first thing this morning. I unloaded all those cookies by myself and got them upstairs in the house. Surprise workout! I'm definitely ready to get back to work - maybe need some kind of prescription anti-inflammatory stronger than ibuprofen - but I'm ready. My knee held up just fine - and after a hard week of working it at the gym.
I've pretty much spent most of my day today doing cookies and Girl Scout stuff. I have to have a day to focus on the GS stuff and that's going to be a key to moving forward with my plans to be a Leader AND a working mom.
Speaking of plans....Yesterday I took advantage of a coaching call with Christie. It was a great call but one of the things we talked about is Daily Affirmations. She gave me an excellent example and the theme of our discussion was now that I'm done running from the painful health issues and am trying to run toward the positives in life....What exactly am I running towards? I think the lack of direction in my life right now is why I'm not nearly as driven as I was in the beginning of my weight loss journey. The health issues didn't entirely disappear but they are looming just enough to keep me from backsliding - but not close enough to propel me forward.
Yes, I want to keep doing Girl Scouts, especially after today and last night. I volunteered to help out at the Cookie PJ Party and what little there was for me to do - I genuinely enjoyed it! Sure I'd like to complete the Boston Marathon some day. Be at my goal weight. Stay at my goal weight. I need to have some actual career and make money for myself and my family...doing what? I don't know. Do I go all in with this nursery gig or take a more traditional stab at the nail thing again? A bunch of goals but they seem to disparate from each other. There is a lack of overall direction - a master plan. That is what I need to sit and think on this week. What's my master plan here?? j
Unlike when I was 18, and I feared getting locked into any situation and desperately wanted to keep my options open, I'm not afraid of that anymore. I'm somewhat late to the commitment party - but I'm here now! I told my husband we need to set aside some time to have a deep discussion about my master plan and what it should look like. Not just for me, but for us BOTH, as a couple and individuals. That discussion needs to not happen on our way to a party. We'll set aside a date night and bring a pen and paper.
Now that is out of the way, it's time for some FOOTBALL!! GO PATRIOTS!!
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
January 7, 2015
I did my weigh in yesterday. The damage is only 6 lbs. I have to be honest and say my reaction to that was "That's it??" I said I wasn't going to worry about a gain and I was surprised to discover that I wasn't the least bit worried. I have, after all, lost 80 lbs so far. Seriously, what's six pounds compared to that? Not a heck of a lot - let me tell ya!! A few weeks and I'll be right back down to 180. One of the first times in my life, I truly have complete confidence that I can lose it. It's not an unrealistic expectation, I know exactly what I need to do. I planned to indulge and indulge I did and now it's back to daily life and back on the weight loss train.
I thought about not weighing in.
"Wait til next week," that lying little voice said.
"It's not Monday, it won't be a true weigh-in"
HA!! Yah right. It's a true weigh in. I logged it on the NS site so now it really counts. Even though I have all that stuff hidden..."Nutrisystem" knows. Something about logging it on NS' site makes it REAL for me. I'm admitting it here and coming clean and I'll be doing that in the Facebook group soon too! Shout it from the rooftops as much as I dare! Some part of me is also a little happy. I did something normal and mundane - I gained weight from eating too much of the wrong things. Not some weirdo, thyroid, under-eating with a screwed up metabolism thing - just plain old overeating bad stuff. For so long something has been wrong with me...now nothing is wrong with me. If I overeat or eat the wrong things, I gain weight just like every one else. I'm not special or different and it's the best feeling in the world.
I see a shift in the way I look at my weight now. When I started, it was about getting healthy. Getting all that metabolism and blood sugar stuff under control. Yah, now it's under control. I'm in no danger of going back to that with a slip up here and a slip up there. There's no health threats looming large over my head. Now my focus is being like everyone else. Watching what I eat because I SHOULD! Do what I'm supposed to do because I'm supposed to do it! Wanting to do it for no reason other than I'm supposed to. That's actually motivation enough now. When did I become that person who has willpower to do things like that?? Me? Wuuuut?!
It kind of smacks me between the eyes sometimes. I'm that person. I can say,
"No, thanks. I think I'm going to have [insert a healthy option here] instead."
I'm not just accepting that I can't have certain foods, I just don't want that stuff anymore. Sure I still like quick and easy - but my standard for what I'll eat quick and easy sure has changed. I'm all about the crock pot cooking now. Cooking up a bunch of healthy food and having it in the fridge to just heat up when I need a fast option. Making my own frozen meals!! I keep seeing those plastic tv trays with lids and thinking I should buy some and start making my own frozen meals. Canning my own foods also. I make a great chili. It's ridiculously a lot like NS' chili except spicier and has no carrot cubes hidden in it. How awesome would it be to open up a jar of my own home-made chili......made with veggies from my own garden.
Grandiose thoughts for sure. Well, grandiose in the way I'm thinking the thoughts - but they can become reality. It will just not happen overnight - but it's a way of doing things I can work towards. I can work out growing a veggie garden. I can save up my cash to get the supplies to do canning. I have some of what I need and the rest can be acquired. I'll have to set aside time on the weekends to do cooking and then my canning and freezing. I can see the path. In the meantime I can make use of my crock pot and fridge to have healthy meal options always available even if they are "leftovers". Because that's really what this is....grandiose leftovers. LOL
This year will be different and better than last year. I will be working, and hopefully full-time work. I have one more goal to add to my list and I'll end today's post with that goal.
Short Term Goal: Save up and purchase Rosetta Stone's Spanish program and learn Spanish!
Long Term Goal: Speak fluent Spanish! My hopefully-on-day-sister-in-law speaks Spanish and she's offered to help me be more fluent! If nothing else, learning the language will help us be closer! she's a sweet gal and I'd love to know her better! I will admit, it has it's professional uses - and will help me with getting work and advancing.
I thought about not weighing in.
"Wait til next week," that lying little voice said.
"It's not Monday, it won't be a true weigh-in"
HA!! Yah right. It's a true weigh in. I logged it on the NS site so now it really counts. Even though I have all that stuff hidden..."Nutrisystem" knows. Something about logging it on NS' site makes it REAL for me. I'm admitting it here and coming clean and I'll be doing that in the Facebook group soon too! Shout it from the rooftops as much as I dare! Some part of me is also a little happy. I did something normal and mundane - I gained weight from eating too much of the wrong things. Not some weirdo, thyroid, under-eating with a screwed up metabolism thing - just plain old overeating bad stuff. For so long something has been wrong with me...now nothing is wrong with me. If I overeat or eat the wrong things, I gain weight just like every one else. I'm not special or different and it's the best feeling in the world.
I see a shift in the way I look at my weight now. When I started, it was about getting healthy. Getting all that metabolism and blood sugar stuff under control. Yah, now it's under control. I'm in no danger of going back to that with a slip up here and a slip up there. There's no health threats looming large over my head. Now my focus is being like everyone else. Watching what I eat because I SHOULD! Do what I'm supposed to do because I'm supposed to do it! Wanting to do it for no reason other than I'm supposed to. That's actually motivation enough now. When did I become that person who has willpower to do things like that?? Me? Wuuuut?!
It kind of smacks me between the eyes sometimes. I'm that person. I can say,
"No, thanks. I think I'm going to have [insert a healthy option here] instead."
I'm not just accepting that I can't have certain foods, I just don't want that stuff anymore. Sure I still like quick and easy - but my standard for what I'll eat quick and easy sure has changed. I'm all about the crock pot cooking now. Cooking up a bunch of healthy food and having it in the fridge to just heat up when I need a fast option. Making my own frozen meals!! I keep seeing those plastic tv trays with lids and thinking I should buy some and start making my own frozen meals. Canning my own foods also. I make a great chili. It's ridiculously a lot like NS' chili except spicier and has no carrot cubes hidden in it. How awesome would it be to open up a jar of my own home-made chili......made with veggies from my own garden.
Grandiose thoughts for sure. Well, grandiose in the way I'm thinking the thoughts - but they can become reality. It will just not happen overnight - but it's a way of doing things I can work towards. I can work out growing a veggie garden. I can save up my cash to get the supplies to do canning. I have some of what I need and the rest can be acquired. I'll have to set aside time on the weekends to do cooking and then my canning and freezing. I can see the path. In the meantime I can make use of my crock pot and fridge to have healthy meal options always available even if they are "leftovers". Because that's really what this is....grandiose leftovers. LOL
This year will be different and better than last year. I will be working, and hopefully full-time work. I have one more goal to add to my list and I'll end today's post with that goal.
Short Term Goal: Save up and purchase Rosetta Stone's Spanish program and learn Spanish!
Long Term Goal: Speak fluent Spanish! My hopefully-on-day-sister-in-law speaks Spanish and she's offered to help me be more fluent! If nothing else, learning the language will help us be closer! she's a sweet gal and I'd love to know her better! I will admit, it has it's professional uses - and will help me with getting work and advancing.