The burden has been lifted and in a week, I have my Ortho appointment and I'll finally know if I'm medically cleared to go back to work or not. I have concerns that to get a decent job I won't get the kind of hours I want (early in the day) but worrying about it now won't do me any good now - in fact, it's going to make things worse for me.
I've been struggling the last few days eating on time. My sleep schedule is still off and that exacerbates my food issues which is further fed by the stress levels from this drama that I don't want to get into in such a public forum. I don't cope well with drama, and we'll leave it at that.
What else do I need to do to get myself on track again? Not much, let me tell ya.
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
January 30, 2015
Holy Cow! Things are moving faster than I expected soon the drama will be over, the troop meeting is being cancelled and T and one of the Moms will be doing cookie business over by the playground. A different meeting will be taking place to resolve all the issues.
I'm both excited and nervous about this meeting. Excited because I want the drama to end and nervous because that stupid part of me is fearful that I have somehow screwed up. Mostly excited. I just hope it doesn't get too melodramatic - I just can't go on dealing with it.
I just want this crap to be over. Get on with troop business. I've got my hands full with cookies and trying to find a job. I hope to be over this congestion soon and be back to the gym next week.
My house has been a wreck lately - and I've been putting some time into putting it back in proper OCD order. It's slow because I've been thoroughly cleaning as I go de-cluttering everything. This weekend the Holiday Decorations are being put away! Once and for all - it's gotta go. I'm sick of looking at it all. We're almost done with cookies and in a few weeks the cookies will be gone too. I can reclaim my living room. Of course, this sudden need to clean and be crazy orderly with my house is a straight reaction to dealing with the drama. The chaos is driving me insane and I feel the need to surround myself with the comfort of order. Broken somehow, but oh well, I'm in the mood to indulge my brokenness so I feel better. Granted, I'm not letting it take over my life, so as long as it doesn't become all consuming, I'll willing to indulge myself because I am keeping it on this side of sane.
I'm hoping next week to get back to the gym. I'm unhappy with my workout schedule, so I think I'll be signing up for time to sit with B and figure out a new routine. I'm not sure I want to keep working out at the gym. I keep finding myself looking at at-home stuff. Or things I can use at the park. I can't tell if I'm just bored with the workout at the gym or what. we'll see what that consultation says. I think I'm going to see the new girl about this though. B is just too used to me. lol I'm not sure. Maybe I"ll see them both and do both who knows?
As anxious as I feel right now, I also feel hopeful. I can see things starting to come together in that vision I have for my life. I know I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and I'll get where I'm going. I'm feeling that drive to get it done. NOW
I'm both excited and nervous about this meeting. Excited because I want the drama to end and nervous because that stupid part of me is fearful that I have somehow screwed up. Mostly excited. I just hope it doesn't get too melodramatic - I just can't go on dealing with it.
I just want this crap to be over. Get on with troop business. I've got my hands full with cookies and trying to find a job. I hope to be over this congestion soon and be back to the gym next week.
My house has been a wreck lately - and I've been putting some time into putting it back in proper OCD order. It's slow because I've been thoroughly cleaning as I go de-cluttering everything. This weekend the Holiday Decorations are being put away! Once and for all - it's gotta go. I'm sick of looking at it all. We're almost done with cookies and in a few weeks the cookies will be gone too. I can reclaim my living room. Of course, this sudden need to clean and be crazy orderly with my house is a straight reaction to dealing with the drama. The chaos is driving me insane and I feel the need to surround myself with the comfort of order. Broken somehow, but oh well, I'm in the mood to indulge my brokenness so I feel better. Granted, I'm not letting it take over my life, so as long as it doesn't become all consuming, I'll willing to indulge myself because I am keeping it on this side of sane.
I'm hoping next week to get back to the gym. I'm unhappy with my workout schedule, so I think I'll be signing up for time to sit with B and figure out a new routine. I'm not sure I want to keep working out at the gym. I keep finding myself looking at at-home stuff. Or things I can use at the park. I can't tell if I'm just bored with the workout at the gym or what. we'll see what that consultation says. I think I'm going to see the new girl about this though. B is just too used to me. lol I'm not sure. Maybe I"ll see them both and do both who knows?
As anxious as I feel right now, I also feel hopeful. I can see things starting to come together in that vision I have for my life. I know I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and I'll get where I'm going. I'm feeling that drive to get it done. NOW
Thursday, January 15, 2015
January 15, 2015
Today is actually a special day for me today. Eight years ago today, I met my husband for the first time. We knew each other from online chat rooms and when my friend and I decided to take a road trip in Florida to relax and unplug after a long hard run on a work project - he offered to show us around and let us camp at his place.
I got lost on our way to meet him. Like lost in Big Cypress Swamp, driving up and down US RT 41 and trying to get cell service in the swamps. He did find me eventually! We had even better in person chemistry than we did online. Ever meet someone and you just clicked with them?? Not just physically - but it was like they instantly "get you". Yah, it was like that. Wasn't just a physical connection but a mental connection too.
I just realized this when I went to write this post. It was exactly what I needed to remember today. I'm having a bad bad day full of stress. After my surgery, I said, "When you hang onto your blessings, no hell can touch you". Yah, realizing today is our 8th anniversary of just meeting - it made my stress level drop.
The drama within our troop has reached a breaking point.. Me losing my insurance and being stuck paying for insurance that costs more per year than our annual income is a problem I can find a solution to. I don't have to take that one on by myself. I have a true partner and we, as a family have a support network we can rely on. I need to focus on working in the nursery today and Tommy and I will find time in the next few days to try and hammer out a solution. Or at least what we're going to do in the short term until we come up with a long term solution.
Stay in the now and embrace those blessings!!
I got lost on our way to meet him. Like lost in Big Cypress Swamp, driving up and down US RT 41 and trying to get cell service in the swamps. He did find me eventually! We had even better in person chemistry than we did online. Ever meet someone and you just clicked with them?? Not just physically - but it was like they instantly "get you". Yah, it was like that. Wasn't just a physical connection but a mental connection too.
I just realized this when I went to write this post. It was exactly what I needed to remember today. I'm having a bad bad day full of stress. After my surgery, I said, "When you hang onto your blessings, no hell can touch you". Yah, realizing today is our 8th anniversary of just meeting - it made my stress level drop.
The drama within our troop has reached a breaking point.. Me losing my insurance and being stuck paying for insurance that costs more per year than our annual income is a problem I can find a solution to. I don't have to take that one on by myself. I have a true partner and we, as a family have a support network we can rely on. I need to focus on working in the nursery today and Tommy and I will find time in the next few days to try and hammer out a solution. Or at least what we're going to do in the short term until we come up with a long term solution.
Stay in the now and embrace those blessings!!