January 5, 2015

Yay! I'm home again, home again!! Now I need another vacation because I'm so tired from this one! 

I'm pleased to say there were plenty of GREAT and healthy options to eat and I'm even more pleased to report that I even had quite a bit of those healthy food options!! I got in all my veggie servings every day! Yah, I also ate all my dessert and last night I ate an entire piece of cheesecake that was the size of like three regular slices. It's literally more than I've eaten in the past year! Or probably will eat THIS year! LOL I told myself going into the cruise that the goal was to eat and eat often! If I over-indulged that was fine but better that than slipping back into my bad habit of not eating all day! There was lots of binge drinking and my visit to the Mayan ruins actually on Cozumel island seems to have brought on my menstrual cycle.

You know what?! I don't care. Yes, I stood on the scale when I got home this afternoon. I was HAPPY. No, I didn't lose weight. Yes, I gained a few pounds. Why am I happy? Because I maintained my every day eating habits! Getting back into my daily weight loss groove has been effortless today. It's like I never left the house! Oh look! There's an entire box of NS food sitting right there....my snack bars are in my purse and the extras are packed in my suitcase right next to Pops shot glasses. 

I got the chance yesterday to walk a 5k for cancer. Both my parents had it, it claimed my mother's life and my youngest sister had it. Twice. I escaped a thyroid cancer scare myself so I had a ton of reasons to do that walk!! At the end I had to choose between finishing the entire walk or dodge out and go learn do the do the Samba for the "Dancing with the Stars" Dance activity. Yah, I stuck it out and finished the walk. I thought that would be a tougher choice than it turned out to be. That new habit of finishing the things I start reared it's pretty head! In the end, I couldn't bring myself to quit. Besides, it was just nine times around the ship and I was more than halfway through! 

I also got up in front of a room full of people with my husband and we sang Karaoke! "Margaritaville". It was a ton of fun! I was not feeling like I looked all that great - but I didn't let that stop me either. Karoke is a fun activity and honestly, one of those ones where the more you suck at it - the more fun it is for you and your audience!! 

All in all, a great trip and I'm so grateful we were able to go!! I'm sorry that I came home to comments on a long abandoned livejournal journal - most of the entries commented on were NINE YEARS old. That's right, I said it - nine years. One was back in 2005. Not as old but still old enough that it has no bearing on my life now. I was in an unhappy and miserable place. I didn't delete those things because I wanted to leave them there as a reminder to myself about how sad and pathetic my life was. While the whole thing has now disappeared from the site-  the posts were not deleted. I just recovered the password (the email notifications of the nasty "setting the record straight" comments told me that my email account associated with the journal is the one I currently use and not one of my old abandoned ones) and since it's been so long  since I last used it - took me a few minutes to figure out how to change ALL the posts to private - but I figured it out. Now everything is private - since I wanted to keep it as a reminder of where I should never let my headspace go. Maybe I'll start writing in it again - as a private place for me to write out my thoughts and just document my life for hindsight insights. However, all of the comments require "moderation" by me and they are still there as proof of the current ongoing situation and something concrete to take to the authorities so I can put an end to this sadness.

I truly feel bad. Father Jim has been encouraging me to take a compassionate viewpoint. Yes, of course, I should protect myself legally. At the same times in my private thoughts, remind myself that they pick apart me and my life because they are so unhappy with their own. Haters are going to hate. Proverbs 9:8 Don't rebuke a mocker or he will hate you. Rebuke a wise person, and he will love you. Wise words, indeed. No matter what I say, it will only make it worse - so best to not say anything. Those people have had access to those entries for the entire intervening time and had no issue with it's correctness until now? Coincidence that the sudden urge to call me out comes immediately following me going "private" on the internet? I think not. If they can't figure it out on their own, I'll leave it to the proper authorities to explain it to them. That's not my role. I'll say some rosaries for them and ask Father Jim to pray for them too. In the meantime, I have a ton of pictures on my husband's phone and mine to download from google pictures so I can make a jumpdrive full of all our pix for my mother-in-law!! Let her pick out which ones she wants to print! 

I finally remembered what it was I was supposed to do before I left. Do my car registration. Last year I didn't remember for MONTHS and ended up getting a citation for it. I ran down to the Car tag place, hopped in line and caught up on email and texts while I waited in the long line. It was nice to be unplugged for awhile but it's good to be back!! I missed all you guys!!